An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word--including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives. 

"Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked.

In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey--both young artists trying to figure it all out--met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there--that is, if it even got picked up.

Then, one million people watched the premiere. The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever.

From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha have always had each other's backs, inseparable to the degree that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants--you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their branded partnership, PANTS, launched in 2020, and accompanying podcast, which has been downloaded over twenty million times.

This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids in a hostile culture, to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experience as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family.

Author: Kate Moennig, Leisha Hailey
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 06/03/2025
Pages: 272